Moaning Monica
Moaning Monica

Have you ever seen the episode of How I Met Your Mother when they talk about the Blitz? The Blitz is the person who always misses out on the best of the fun. He might decide that nothing much is going on in the pub so he’s going home for an early night, then after he leaves something amazing happens and the night ends up being legendary.

I’ve always hated the idea of being the Blitz. I’m much less energetic now than I used to be but when I was younger there was no way I’d decline a party invitation. What if I missed out on something? And once at the party I’d often be among the last to leave; what if something incredible happened at the end of the night and I missed it?

I always think that not very much happens in my current non-working life. When someone suggests something to do I almost invariably say yes without consulting a diary, because I never imagine that there’s anything else going on. So when my lovely friend C, who I hadn’t seen for a ridiculous four years, suggested that he come to stay with me for some of the Easter break then I visit him in his home in Malaga for the rest of the break, I shouted a resounding “Yes”!

But once we’d started to make plans I looked in my diary. Paid work is rare for me these days but at the moment I’m inundated. So there’s that. Then it’s this week that I’d said that I’d go to Zurich to catch up with a beautiful friend who’s here for work for two days. And the first proper reunion of the cast of The Vagina Monologues happened last night. And the monthly photography club meeting is held this morning, and the fortnightly book club meeting tonight. And I’ve committed to the 26-day A-Z April blogging challenge, and signed up for the 365 (photography) Project. Oh, and M and I are going hiking in Interlaken for five days tomorrow.

So why the hell am I not able to clone myself to be in more than one place at a time?! And why do I have long weeks where nothing at all is going on, then weeks where I have no choice but to miss out? Too disappointing!

I’m not complaining really. I’m here in Zurich with one lovely friend and about to catch up with another. But in terms of other stuff going on, I’m the Blitz…

Sometimes, though, I have the tremendous good fortune of being in exactly the right place at exactly the right time. I’ll be forever grateful to the universe for conspiring to make it possible for me to be in the room when the magnificent Monica performed the piece entitled, The Woman Who Loved to Make Woman Happy. Moaning Monica was a-MAZING. The rest of us did our best but she utterly stole the show with her genius, humour, sexiness and sassiness. She put the orgasm scene in When Harry Met Sally to shame.

Moaning Monica, you were majestic.


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